Time to Say Goodbye…

Leaving both Mlimani and Wel Wel was amazingly difficult. We finished our program by allowing the students to perform their skits about anything that they had learned in the course. I was expecting short skits resembling the ones we had done for the students. Instead, I was surprised to see lengthy, intricate scenarios incorporating many of the topics included in our curriculum. Unplanned pregnancy, physical and verbal abuse, sexually transmitted infections, drug abuse, assertiveness gender and respect were all featured in these demonstrations. One of the students (who played an abusive partner) stood up in front of the class after his group’s presentation to explain to us why the actions he demonstrated were unacceptable. I was moved. By the end of either class, all four of us were in tears. I knew that such strong relationships could form in such little time. I anticipated it being challenging for me to leave the students. What I didn’t anticipate was how difficult us leaving would be for the students. I felt a pang of remorse when seeing our students upset over us leaving after only a few short weeks.

Throughout our time in Tanzania we have talked about the transient relationships that we form in our lives. I am constantly surrounded by short and intense relationships in medicine. It is easy to remain disconnected from these encounters and for the relationship to remain superficial. Actually, it’s probably the easiest way to go through life. When I started in medicine I had told myself that I wanted to avoid forming these superficial relationships. I had decided to pursue this career to learn from people and support them in their time of need. I wanted to be someone a patient could trust even if in reality, we were strangers. It has been difficult to invest energy into these transient relationships. I consider them invaluable but as I have mentioned before, I sometimes struggle with the abrupt end to them. With the help of my team, this experience in Tanzania has allowed me to start working through this very concept. I would think that elaborating on this would be easy but even a half page into my blog entry, I continue to struggle with my words. The emotions are fresh. I’m sure that with time, my thoughts will organize themselves and become clearer. For now, I can take a few deep breaths and relish in the fact that I had the chance to do something so incredible.

I have been overwhelmed by the beautiful people I have had the chance to get to know and feel the need to mention them here. Thank you CPAR. Thank you Jean for being our rock and our guide. Innocent, for your wisdom, lessons and kindness. Modhi, for your endless smile. Mike, for your jokes and constant laughter. Mpuya, for your concern and caring words. Joseph for your watchful eye, Kevin and Tony for being a source of support this last week. Most importantly, I have to thank the students at Mlimani and Wel Wel. I have laughed, cried and learned with them. Tanzania was an experience of a lifetime.

“I would like to wish you all the best in your studies and may god bless Rachelle, Carly, Brian and Tito for good work you done for us. Thanks.” – student from Wel Wel

Rachelle

We are Strong

I came here knowing that this was going to be hard, that there would be a language issue. That there would be cultural differences. I worried what we were teaching would go right over their heads or that they wouldn’t care.

I was wrong.

I have watched these kids blossom. They have gone from incredibly shy and only giving us the textbook definitions to kids with an attitude and  kids who are assertive. Kids who stand straighter and know their rights. Girls in Form 1 and 2 who would take over their group and become the leaders, telling the older boys what to do! Students who said barely anything during our class hugged us and cried with us when we had to leave.

The skits that came through were incredible. Every skit that was shown had layers upon layers. They talked about relationships, abuse, abortion, pregnancy, all in the same skit! I was blown away by these kids and how much they had learned. They had taken everything in. One line stays with me, a little Form 1 girl is protecting her neighbour from being beaten and the man is now threatening to beat her and she says “ You will NOT beat me because I am strong!”

A student asked me what I have learned from them. My answer to her was more than you or I will ever know. What I didn’t have time to tell her was that not only had I seen changes in these kids but I have changed myself. I have seen that even a little time can change the way people think. I have learned that not everything is black and white and that there is that bit of grey matter in between. I have seen how a group of kids can grow and become a force to be reckon with.

I was worried that what we were teaching wasn’t enough or that it wouldn’t make a difference. Looking at our students and seeing how much they have changed over the last month I know that these students will make leaders, these students will be someone important. The amount of pride and love I have in these students was not something I had anticipated.

Four weeks, 8 classes, 16 hours. It was enough.

Carly

Kwaheri Tanzania, Mambo Revolution!

Revolutions are often required for important changes to occur. Some of the world’s most powerful revolutions have started out with small groups of devoted individuals who were committed to change; who were eager to stand up and defend their rights and protect the rights of generations to come. It just takes one spark to ignite a revolution, and if just one ember of it touches you, you will never be the same.

In the town of Karatu, Tanzania, there exist two groups of young revolutionaries. One group calls themselves “The Mlimani Health Group” and the other “The African Visionary Club”. This inspired group of youngsters ranges from ages 13-18. But don’t be deceived by their youth – these kids mean business! One boy, who is just 16, said that with education “you can change the life of a village and a country”. That statement carries a lot of weight. There is a great amount of careful thought that must have occurred in this young mans mind before he made so profound a statement. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg…

This is the end of our five weeks in Tanzania. In an impossibly short amount of time we have managed to get to know an extraordinary group of kids. Our goal was to educate them and train them to be facilitators for other students. But I could never have anticipated the radical ways in which they would impact and teach me. Not only have these students wormed their way into my heart, they have also forever changed me. Many of these students have seen and experienced some very hard things, and yet have remained resilient. They are inspiring. It is such a special privilege to have the chance to positively influence the life of a child, to encourage them to follow their dreams, to teach them about their rights, and give them tools that they need to succeed. And when they reciprocate your excitement and devotion, it is truly touching.

Often when you travel to do a project for such a short period of time, you can leave without knowing if anything that you did really mattered. You teach and hope that you are getting through to at least one. But as I watched the skits that the students performed – well crafted, confident, and so clearly highlighting big issues that we have been discussing throughout this program – I knew that each one of them had learned something important. I have become a collector of moments during my time with them – whether it has been sharing a laugh during a funny game, watching as a young girl finds her voice and is able to say, “I am assertive! And I am strong”, or listening to a young man explain to others that being a man is not about getting drunk or being abusive, it is about being reliable and responsible. When asked about if our program has changed them, one said, “I changed and I am still changing and I’ve realized something new from you and I’ll be a good teacher to the others.”

We all expected that it would be difficult to say goodbye to these students. We all feel so close to them. They had given up their study time to be in our program. They had trusted and confided in us. They welcomed us eagerly and participated enthusiastically. As we arrived at our final classes, I felt heaviness in my chest. This was it. The last time that I would get to see the faces of kids that I had grown to love. I was simultaneously excited, and frightened, and heartbroken. I had told the other girls that I would not cry. But I felt a lump in the back of my throat even saying those words. We played games, watched their amazing performances (all worthy of standing ovations!) and gazed as their eyes lit up when they received their yearbooks.

And then there were tears. Both times they came suddenly. Salty tears rolling down my cheeks and sniffles in my nose. At Mlimani they started when two of the girls prepared a goodbye song to us – it was personalized, they had written it themselves and it included the words, “our dear Tito”. I was a goner. At Wel Wel I thought I would make a clean break, but sure enough the tears crept up on me again. I can’t even write about this without tears in my eyes now. And once they started coming, they wouldn’t go away. Because I wasn’t the only one crying. Carly, Rachelle, and Breann were all crying. But so were many of our students – both the girls and the boys. Seeing our students so upset at our parting evoked even more tears. We shared warm embraces, laughs through tears, and said our final goodbyes.

One part of me is so sad to leave them all behind. But another part of me is filled with joy that I have been a part of a revolution sparked in the minds of these students. They are future leaders of Tanzania and are eager to start changing the perspectives of those around them. They are on fire. They are a flood. They are a revolution! To each of our students at Mlimani and Wel Wel, I say “Thank you!”

I am so glad to have had the opportunity to participate in this project. To engulf myself in this dual process of service and learning. To become a revolutionary force myself and to be forever changed by this country and it’s people. To build on my skills as a future physician and expand my knowledge of global and public health. CPAR deserves special recognition for taking a chance on us and giving us the freedom to implement this curriculum and provide us with all the things and connections that we needed to be successful. The staff at CPAR – Jean, Modhi, Innocent, Mike, Mpuya, and Joseph – have all taught me so much and made the sometimes difficult transition into a new place totally fluid. I owe them all a great deal of gratitude. Thank you CPAR. Thank you Tanzania. And another thanks to all of our revolutionaries.

Tito

Farewell Dear Friends

The last day with WelWel made our leaving feel so much more final. These kids have left something with me that I will always cherish. It is hard to express how I have been so profoundly impacted by relationships which began such a short while ago, I have never become so incredibly close to anyone in this amount of time. For us to forge such bonds with so many wonderful children through our time here is truly the most amazing experience I have ever had. Already, I feel lost without having a class at Mlimani or WelWel to look forward to and a question box bursting with their innermost thoughts and private questions. Although I am consumed with emotion; sadness, gratitude, love and joy, I know that this is not last time I will be able to connect with these kids. However brief, their presence in my life and the relationships we have cultivated will be something which inspires, drives, and reinforces all that I wish to do.

Thinking about their eagerness to pass along the things we have learned together to their peers brings me such happiness. They have managed to grasp and apply concepts which have taken me years to understand in a matter of days. I know that they will continue to learn, challenge each other, create new dialogue, and teach one another for a long time to come. I am proud to have known these beautiful souls and to have become friends with each of them.

It is bittersweet to be sitting here formulating my last blog entry for this journey. I am anxious to return home to my family and friends, the comfortable familiarity of small town Manitoba in the summer. At the same time I am dreading the thought of getting into the CPAR truck, weighed down with all of our luggage, as we depart for Arusha. Karatu is a special place, the warmth and sense of community among those who live and work here is undeniable.

As International Day of the African Child approaches, June 16, I have 60 students on my mind. The participants of Mlimani Health Group and The African Visionary Club are wise beyond their years. I cannot help but imagine what the future holds for these children, they all have such amazing dreams and aspirations, I hope their confidence and desire to learn continues to grow and that they will achieve all that they deserve.

Breann

Farmers, Fields, and Schools, oh my!

Last week we had a chance to visit the farmer field schools that are facilitated by CPAR. This is an excellent project that centres around educating farmers and supporting sustainable agricultural practices in Tanzania. We thought it would be nice to share some pictures from that day. Enjoy!

Standing Ovation

For everything there is a season…a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…a time to say “hello”, and a time to say “goodbye”. With only one day left in each school I feel humbled when I reflect on how many seasons we have seen since we arrived in Karatu, both literally and figuratively. We arrived in the midst of a lush rainy season, overwhelmed by the vegetation, humidity, freshness and earth that had been compacted by the rain. As we are getting to closer to leaving it is becoming dry season – we watch as plants begin to shrivel, the roads become more dry and dusty with red dirt, and the air crisp. As a group we have gone from being almost complete strangers to becoming trusted friends. We started out with the objective of developing a curriculum for secondary students, but what we have done and built here is so much more than that.

I have wrestled endlessly with the balance between meeting the objectives laid out for us by the university and CPAR and staying cognizant of the real human and emotional outcomes that could never be described on paper. And while the directions and objectives that we were given have been instrumental in guiding the program that we developed and the way that we have gone about our work, my experience here cannot be measured objectively. There is no way to quantify or qualify the things that I have encountered: the moments of exuberant joy, or the moments of excruciating sadness. These things are all subjective. The ways in which my humanity has been shaken and stirred up by the words and actions of the students in our program can never be fully described. I am struggling with sorting through the impact that this experience has had on me and know that it is a process that will take quite a bit of time.

I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate our students. These young girls and boys are some of the most incredible individuals that I have ever had the pleasure to meet and work with. It’s important for me to make this declaration. Without them – their help, their enthusiasm and eagerness, their well-thought out inquiry and comments – we would have been completely lost. The hours that have been poured into this program (including quite a few late nights) was because of them. Because every single day that we have been here these students have challenged and inspired us, and to give them anything less than our best would have been a major disservice to this very deserved group of youngsters.

When I think about how far each of them has come in just a few short weeks, it blows my mind. The last few days have been really hard for all of us. Faced with the reality of having to say goodbye to these kids and our colleagues at CPAR, we have all had moments that were interrupted by unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) tears. We can tell that the students are emotional about our impending departure as well. This in itself – the fact that they seem to appreciate us as much as we do them – is gratifying. But what is much more exciting is the eagerness to teach other students what they have learned that you can see in their eyes. The seriousness and devotion with which they have embraced their new duty and responsibility to be facilitators and leaders among their peers – this is success! Our students are young visionaries. They are all leaders and it is rewarding to know that we have helped to equip these leaders with tools that they can use to succeed and to stand up for themselves in a challenging world.

There is a season to teach, and a season to let the student become the teacher. I have so much confidence that we have given this education to the perfect group of kids. We asked them to prepare skits on a topic that they have learned and they will be performing them in the last classes that we have today and tomorrow. We are all eager to see what they have come up with. I for one am trying to keep my focus on the fact that we get to see all of their skits on the last day and not on the fact that this also means that we have to say goodbye. If you are reading this blog post and wishing you could see them perform, don’t worry! We will tell you all about it! But since you probably have a pretty good idea by now how excellent these students are you can go ahead and give them a pre-performance Standing Ovation! Go ahead! They deserve it.

Tito

Saying goodbye is never easy

We spent our second last day with our students at Mlimani yesterday. The impending end to our time together was not lost on any of us, students included. Many of them asked if we had to leave so soon and if we could return someday. I’m sure that I am not the only one who is having a hard time wrestling with the idea of leaving this kids. We have shared only a short time together but made such strong connections to one another, seeing them become more confident, assertive, and empowered has been such a special journey which has created a bond that I have never known before.

When beginning our program, we all expressed the desire to reach at least one student with our message. We vowed to count it as a success if we saw that our program impacted one student in each school, yesterday we reached and then surpassed our goal. The evaluations and question box comments and questions proved that the vast majority of students were impacted in a positive way by one section or another of this program. Many of the students expressed a desire to pass along the information we had provided, a few wished to learn more about issues which were completely foreign to them when first introduced, some provided reasons why this program would help them in their futures, and almost all thanked us genuinely for our efforts in preparing and teaching the program.

What they probably do not realize is just how much we have learned from all of them. Our students have made me more sure than ever that I am in the right field of education, I am more passionate than ever before about the issues we have spoken about together. It will be hard to leave these kids with only P.O. Box numbers to connect us rather than our twice a week meetings but they will continue to inspire the work that I hope to do at the U of M and upon my graduation.

Breann

Safari

Bright and early on Friday morning we were picked up by our guide Peter Paul and were off to Ngorongoro Crater to see its wonders. Our first stop was Oldupai, not Olduvai as we were told by our instructor. The man explaining this fun fact for us stressed the name Oldupai and the man who mispronounced it. You see, what had happened when Oldupai was discovered, the man who heard its name was German and pronounced it Olduvai, not Oldupai. So, the world now knows this historic site as Olduvai.

Next stop was the crater! Driving and looking down upon the crater we thought, there are no animals there! Where are they? But once we arrived we could see that there was no shortage of zebras, wildebeests, thompson gazelles, and hippos. We also were able to see a pride of lions. With Tito as our BBC guide we learned many untrue facts about all the animals we saw, thankfully Peter Paul was there to let us know the true facts. The hippos were a site, with only the tops of their funny looking heads popping out of the water. After an excitement filled day we headed home.

Saturday we were picked up by Jean and did some shopping then headed off to Kirumu Tented Lodge. We were treated to a beautiful view over the valley with a very open concept bathroom. But this was only a place to spend the night and marvel at the beauty all around us, because Sunday morning we were whisked away again, this time to Lake Manyara National Park. Here we were told that lions slept in trees. So my only goal of the day was to spot us a lion in a tree. With my tunnel view I almost missed the animals that were there, but our guide pulled through and stopped at every sighting of baboon, monkey, dik dik, impala, zebra, giraffe and elephant. At one point we were surrounded by more than 10 giraffes. It was amazing, between the four of us almost 1000 photos were taken of just the giraffes.

After our week at the school, it was nice to take a break and experience the beauty that is all around Tanzania. I had been having a hard time with some of the issues that had been coming up and was becoming very sad. Sad that our time was slowly coming to an end here, sad that I was unsure of how much was actually passing through our language barrier, and sad because no child should be taken advantage of. Throughout this experience I have been so lucky that the four of us girls have been able to talk. These issues that are coming up are hard to deal with alone but with three other girls here, I know I am not. So throughout these last few weeks I find myself going back to a line from my favourite poem Deserata,

             With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

I constantly remind myself that while there are people in the world who take advantage and harm others, there are still those that will fight for them. Those that will come through and help those who are being mistreated help themselves. So with this weekend I was reminded that this is a beautiful world with beautiful people.

Carly

Signed, Anonymous.

Wow…yet another amazing and challenging week. Before setting out for our weekend of exploring and relaxing, we needed to make sure that we worked through some of the difficult experiences we had faced this week. None of this was easy, it just keeps getting more difficult as we continue to get to know these students.

While reading the questions in our question box last night, we were hit with yet another blow. A question from a student was asking about what to do if a teacher or friend was forcing themselves on them. We had been told about the issue of teachers preying on students in Tanzania. We were aware of it from the beginning. Knowing about it is completely different than experiencing one of our students reaching out asking for help regarding this very problem. All of a sudden, it was very real. Whether this question was hypothetical or not, we will never know. Frankly, it doesn’t matter. It hit all of us like a ton of bricks. Your initial reaction is to scream. Then, you consider running around frantically trying to find who could be doing this to innocent children. After taking a deep breath, you re-evaluate how you can best help this student in this situation. We did this together yesterday.

What came to my mind was that this student must really trust us in order to confide in us this way. This student must feel a certain amount of empowerment to want and allow us to read this question to the entire group. They knew that by including their question into the box it would be read to the entire class. We do it for every single question that we get. They are talking. They want to be heard. I feel proud that this student came forward and brought notice to this nightmare. After talking about it at length, we understand that the best thing we can do is to reinforce what we have been teaching. One by one, these students are learning to be more assertive. Form 1’s are talking to Form 4’s and they are growing together.

When I look back at this week, I feel incredibly lucky to have been part of this experience. I have learned more than I could ever teach. I have gained insight and have had to work through some of the most difficult problems I have ever faced. I am extremely lucky to have the support of three other wonderful students and the members of CPAR. I am confident that this experience will make me a better person and is shaping me to become a better physician. I owe it to CPAR, the girls and the students I have had the chance to meet. With the end of this trip in sight, I can undoubtedly say that part of my heart will stay in Tanzania.

Rachelle

Finding the Silver Lining

Tito discussed her perspective of yesterday’s class in the previous blog entry, I must also share mine for I am unable to write about anything else at this point. The weight of this experience has left me emotionally drained and feeling more than ever that our presence here, as a part of this program, is something which is necessary.

Yesterday afternoon was the largest challenge I have faced thus far as a participant of this service learning program. There are many things which I expected to be surprised by and fully anticipated coming across issues which are theorized in different ways than I am accustomed to. Although I knew that I would be faced with different view points and new cultural practices and beliefs I could not have been prepared for what I experienced.

We discussed with the students topics including: prevention of early pregnancy, consequences of early pregnancy, dangers of illegal abortion, and gender based violence. They responded in ways we had hoped they would to the majority of our questions and raised concerns which we were prepared to discuss. At one point we raised the topic of victim blaming, through a hypothetical situation of rape. All of the students agreed that in some instances, it can be the victim’s fault if she is dressed inappropriately. In an attempt to create a new dialogue around this kind of thinking I asked a hard question, similar to the one I asked at the other school when the boys there had the same reaction. I asked the students, “If I walked in to teach this class today, wearing a very short skirt, would it be alright for you to rape me?” Some responded with “no”, others with silence and one boy with a strong and confident, “yes.” I approached him and repeated the question, “would you rape me if I was wearing a short skirt?” He again replied with “yes”. I asked, “what if I told you to stop, and said no?” He said that he wouldn’t stop, that he would keep going.

To look into the eyes of this student, only a few years younger than myself, and hear the words, “I would rape you” with such conviction was something which I could never have prepared myself for.

From a very young age I have been taught what my rights are, that my body is mine and what happens to it should be my choice. I assume that the same type of socialization has happened in the life of this young man, perhaps his did not include processes of resistance towards victim blaming or gender equality in all facets of life. Whatever the case might be, our beliefs were in strong opposition, I could not find the words to create a discussion about our differing perspectives and had to leave the class before becoming overwhelmed with emotion.

As soon as I stepped outside of the door I felt my body crash into the brick wall behind me, the sun beating on my face, despite all that had happened I felt empty. Then I felt angry that someone had taught this boy to believe so whole heartedly that he has the right to rape a woman if he feels she is dressed provocatively. Then I became sad and fought back what seemed like a never-ending supply of tears. Finally, I remembered that these reactions, these differences of opinion, these strong convictions are the reasons why we are here, teaching and learning from these people. I did not come here to talk to people who believe all of the same things that I do, I came here to open my mind to new ideas and help others open theirs too. We came here to combat the deeply ingrained beliefs which allow for the continued subjugation of women and girls. We are here to help boys and girls realize that they have the right to pursue their dreams and goals. We are here to help them learn to work together, to rely on each other, to protect and support each other. We are here to help these young women and men begin to realize that their differences can be acknowledged and celebrated while also creating a stronger and more equal society.

Although it was a devastating and emotionally charged experience I am glad it happened. If this boy hadn’t said what he believed we would not have had the opportunity to discuss it further with the entire class. Even if we were not able change his mind, perhaps we inspired one of the other students to begin to question the common practice, here and in most other regions of the world, of blaming the victim.

Breann